Notting Hill and my intermittent fast…
Easing into a new way of eating was my plan. And so far so good. Since I started intermittent fasting I’ve done fairly well. I’ve tripped over the weekends and I’ve allowed myself freedom on my birthday. But ninety-percent of the time since day one two weeks ago, I’ve completed my goal of fasting for at least eighteen hours.
I am encouraged. I can do this. I can handle a fast. I can fairly easily delay eating when I know I won’t be denying myself of what I want during my open window.
With the delay don’t deny style of eating I have lost a few pounds on my first two weeks – a solid two actually. I’m down three pounds on a light day, one pound on a heavy day. But on average two weeks of fasting and then eating what I wanted during my window has me a tiny bit smaller. But I need to be a lot smaller. There is extra weight on my body that needs to go if I want to avoid diabetes and high blood pressure and joint aches.
I knew this was a lifestyle, not a diet, so I am implementing in stages, and now comes the next stage. After two weeks of gaining confidence in my ability to handle a fast, I’m taking another step. I’m tinkering with a variable. Today I’m going to keep the fast until three, as per usual, then I am going to open my window. Here’s the scary part, I am going to try to keep my food consumption to 800 calories total for the day. I terrified that I will fail at this next phase. Dr. Michael Mosley’s book The Fast 800 is my guide, more or less, with this plan.
Plus I’ve struggled with what to include in my 800 calories. Do I try to Keto, Whole 30, Paleo, Weight Watch, or WHAT???
I’ve decided not to decide, other than committing to 800 calories. Today, I will have a bowl of soup to break the fast, that will be under 200 calories. And then I plan to eat a turkey breast, veggies, and maybe a small potato for dinner. I’ll close my window with some fruit. That is my plan. A plan I’m not sure will work.
But I feel very strongly that I have to make this work. I have to have success today to move forward. Success today will give me a nugget of confidence for tomorrow. Nuggett.. I love nuggets. (See, my mind is a terrible thing.)
The confidence I’ve found fasting the last few days is tenuous. It can easily be destroyed by a binge, by me failing to stick to 800 calories, by me ending this whole endeavor with a weight gain and a broken heart. I’m feeling unsure, vulnerable, and afraid. I’m just a girl standing in front of a diet, asking for it to work.
I do not know my body, yet. I over feed it. I binge. I feel ill after the binge, but I do it. I am trying to remind myself this journey is all about self-discovery, and intuitive, intentional eating. I am learning how to heal. I want freedom from the cycle I’ve been on for decades.
I am going to have to use every tool in my toolbox today to make this a success. Water, positive vibes, vision boarding, water, did I say water? Adapt or die. That’s it. Okay, go for launch on phase two of this new Way of Eating. Fast for 19 hours and then 800 in my